Giving Thanksgiving "Da Bird"

So because we are Buddhists and are thankful every damn day..below the belt, I know, we ditch Thanksgiving. Besides we hate turkey, no really I hate turkey. I enjoy a Turkey Bacon Club sandwich here and there but it's basically a "kosher" solution to eating too much Bacon. So let's be real here: we're Asian, we  get one day off from work so our Wednesday night plan is to get all kinds of tipsy and get in line at Best Buy to retrieve yet another 60 million inch flat screen for our bathrooms. We, unlike you guys, enjoy the rather finer things in life. I am going to go into a mini hibernation mode and nap until midnight when all the malls are open and pounce like a cat when the gates of Banana Republic opens, hell I might even do a drive by at the Gap...needless to say, I'm shameless.  

I am pretty sure I've had all types of birds today; herring, chicken, Cornish hen even...no Turkey. Maybe it is because Asians are the real meal hipsters, we shop at exclusive supermarkets and wear our half-hoods and skinny jeans to Dim-Sum...maybe. So for those whom are not eating copiously in my honor, good for you. Stay resilient, I love you.

Here we go again.

So for the new academic year I've promised myself a few things, and to my demise I haven't really been too keen on promises. One of the many faulty vows is that I take care of myself better...lies. I was planning to work out daily and eat 3 meals and all of that fun stuff that would make a dietitian piddle in their panties but nope, I haven't been burning calories just brain cells. I am definitely overworked and stressed to the max. I think I've come to grasp the meaning of "busy"...But yes, I am as flooded as Katrina when it comes to schoolwork...these professors don't talk to each other now do they? So hell week is about every week. I don't enjoy weekends either because I am imprisoned by my workload. So imagine Guantanamo only with Google docs. SO fun! I just threw up in my mouth, but it's okay.  Ugh, it just hurts my feelings and I can't help but to dick around because my attention span has gone to shit as well as my previously nonexistent social life...so it's not even in my peripheral vision that I get one at all now...poop.
My classes are somewhat enjoyable, however. I have good professors and I'm doing research...on chlamydia...oh and I WILL MOST LIKELY CONTRACT IT...seeing that I am the most clumsy of souls, I will most likely knock some petri-dish off a table and then rub my eye or some odd thing...but yes, that's in my future, I can see that like RAVEN. And I'm taking a sex and love writing class-not the sexy kind, it's a psychology and chemical breakdowns of why we get the naughties. But that's going well. I just read this autobiography of a feminist pornographer (a doosy, I know) but it brought me to dabble in in curiosity of pornography...(I was leading in the porn directing industry back in '97, you know.) and I'm totally turned off by it. It's so aggressive...for you males (pronounced "mal-les") that thing you got down there is threatening. It's so unappealing and disgusting. The women in these films are like biddy 2.0 and I feel like it's all fake-it makes you really wonder if it should ever be called "making love"..it's more like "making homicide". I'm pretty sure it's tasteful elsewhere but in Vanny's book, it's a no no. I read about the homosexual porn industry and how totally disgraceful it is for gays...I mean, they're actors and it's such a sad, sad, life to be leading, you know? The porn industry needs to regroup, for reals. It's a mean, mean sport. I can't understand it, I mean I guess my argument also shows how suppressed our culture is to sex in general, no? If  I were to be in Europe, I mean the commercials are pretty frisky. I'm pretty sure naked ladies are in coffee ads. But they feel like there is nothing to hide about the female anatomy. It's not taboo...there's something insightful about that.
That tangent was fun. But yes, school is propelling and schoolwork is climbing in my windows and snatching my peoples up so I better hide my kids and hide my wives...Sorry i haven't posted in awhile but I figured I should prove to you that I haven't' fallen off the face of the biosphere.

LISTEN UP.

Listen Up:

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged but with six kids, bills and my recent stint with polygamy…I’ve been busy getting busy. I joke, I kid, but for those Big Love followers out there; you and I both know how much baby-making goes on in a time span of an hour-long show…ahem.

So since my last blog, I had gone to Chi-Town and Lollapalooza-ed and as you know, it was the bee’s knees. I have compiled a list of jams that I have discovered/can’t live without.

Let’s git Crackin’:

Young the Giant

props to Google for the image

They’re up-and-comers I guess, they have an LP from way back when and only die-hards know of it, but the self-titled album is really something to see.  I’m sure you’ve heard “My Body” but their songs are pretty well, “fluid” and laid-back, I would say. They’re of the California-cool genre, but it’s refreshing and goes to show you that California cool hasn’t gone to hell since Hollister hit up our malls and pubescent teens.  Their show was on day one of the festival and a good way to start the weekend. I suggest you go on that little gem of a Youtube website and look up “Strings”, the acoustic version. I guarantee you’ll dig it.

Phantogram

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvSgLHWR16o

This is called “Mouthful of Diamonds”, it’s a dark eclectic little number form their LP, I can assure you that they are one to watch for in the later years in the world of Electronic-pop. If you like The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Sleigh Bells, give them a try. They also put on a damn good show. Oh and really listen to the lyrics, good stuff.

Coldplay

props to Google for this image

Umm, need I say more? After seeing Chris Martin live, I really do forgive him for naming his kids Moses and Apple, for reals Chris, you can call them anything you want BECAUSE YOU’RE SO DAMN COOL. And that Gwennie ain’t too shabby either. So Viva la Vida is one of the best albums ever and if you protest; shame on you. One of the many highlights of the show is their stage presence; really it’s like that feeling of seeing God in material form. The light show was also CA-RAY-ZAY. Seriously, clouds were projected and flashing streams of yellow danced around the stage and gyrated on my eyes during, you guessed it, “Yellow”. And to end it all, they beautifully summed up the night with “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” (in which I’m peddling in my panties for the new album) and then “Fix You” I could have died in ecstasy.

Two Door Cinema Club

Google.com for the image

These Irishmen really know how to get the crowd going, so this electro-pop band can put the step in my two-step. For reals, they put on a good show; overall, they were genuine crowd pleasers. And nothing says you’re distinctly following the Irish-stereotype than chugging warm Budweisers on stage in the blistering heat. So that was a little gem for me, for anyone really. To be able to get people up and dancing in 90 degree weather takes a little more than a wink and a smile. So needless to say, they’re pretty damn talented. I’m guessing it’s the beer also. Oh and some food for thought, “Something Good Can Work” is what you want stuck in your head.

Beirut

Google.com for image

I want to make Zach Condan ‘s babies. That’s not just my hormones speaking…Anywho lemme tell you a little somethin-somethin about Beirut; Zach’s voice sounds like Sex-on-a-stick, it’s creepy and seductive. I know it shan’t ever be spoken in the same breath but it has the same charm as Leonard Cohen’s voice. The show was composed of trumpets and heavy brasses with ukuleles…so it’s an interesting marriage of sounds. Also the crowd from his show was awesome, really laid back folks whom really enjoy music, and super nice too… maybe because the riff-raff children were at the Eminem show.

Walk the Moon

I had never heard of them until the day of their show, and to my surprise it was pretty damn catchy, not nervy-catchy but a good kind of catchy. Their hit is that face-painted mess, it’s a quirky song and kind of pokes fun at college parties and all that jazz, so it’s quirky, catchy and clever…not to bad for a bunch of guys in neon-clad skinny jeans from Ohio. Check out their colorful music video for their song “Anna Sun”.

Mayor Hawthorne

The whole oldie but a goodie kind of idea kicks in for this one. He’s Micheal Buble but with a punch to the mouth. Well judging from the music and voice, I expected a black man to come out on the stage and show me his funk but his lanky white kid from Detroit (that speaks like a black man) came out and whoa-ed me even more. Out of all of the Lolla shows, this was the best surprise, so give his songs a chance…very sultry, I mean baby-making sultry. If Marvin Gaye and Al Green made babies..this would be the spawn.  And needless to say, it was lovely.

So the list goes on but for now, I think that’s enough for you all to chew on.

But in case you needed some new to-be classics in your life, here’s what I dig:

Phoenix

props to Google for the image

For you cave men that have no idea whom Phoenix are, shame on you. (No offense to cave men) But they are second generation, Daft Punk 2.0….but honestly; I think they’re better than the Daft. But in all seriousness, this has got to be the best, well made album of our generation.  Just listen to it, really just listen to that beauty and tell me that isn’t precious. It’s not just my crush on Thomas Mars or my undying wish to have a baby-making session with the band, but really its true art…the music is like the most avant-garde/creative/innovative thing out there. It’s been out for awhile but I’m really still awed by the music. And for you cheap bastards out there, look up their podcasts on iTunes. Their KEXP radio visit was aurgasmic, give it a try and who knows…it.might/will.blow.your.mind. I would never lie to you.

Michael Jackson

props to Google.com

I know you must be thinking, what the hell? Anywho, lemme tell you something about the king: he’s the king. So rummaging through my pile of crap I had found this album and I almost forgot about how much I loved him…in a very platonic way…allegedly. If you had listened to “Rock With You” and your hips don’t start shaking on their own, you’ve got problems.

Jay-Z

props to Google.com for image

I don’t care if you don’t like rap, but Hova will change yo mind. I think all of his albums are well made but Blueprint III is just so creatively cool and has a lot of modern spunk, but he’s a pretty smart guy; everything in his music is very cohesive and strong-maybe that’s why he’s been in the rap-game for what, like 13 years? So needless to say, he’s here to stay. Oh and the new “Watch the Throne” album? To die for, for reals. It’s soooo good and having Kanye as his partner in crime won’t hurt. The duo are on tour now, and you betcho ass I’ll be at their show.

DANGER MOUSE

props to Google.com for image

Anything he touches turns to gold, need I say more?

Where the Wild Things Are Soundtrack

props to Google.com

Karen O is simply one of the best female voices in music-in our generation, kids. So listen up, it’s good for ya. The whole Spike Jonze flick creeps me out and I don’t think it’s kosher for kids to watch it but I do commend him for wedding, then ex-wedding that loverly Sophia Coppola. But this album is probably one of the soundtracks that out-does the actual flick, listen for yourself.

Juno Soundtrack

props to Google.com

I have a soft-spot for Ellen Page. In other words, I love that girl and would arguably go gay for her and Ellen DeGeneres if given the chance. Anyway, Kim Ya Dawson’s voice is equally adorable, now don’t go googling what she looks like because the voice says “cute” but the face, not so much. Well, it’s The Moldy Peaches, so I’ll leave it at that, besides there’s no reason to ruin a perfectly good thing. The songs on this album are a breath of fresh air, it’s a fun album and quirky and really lively. The lyrics are all over the place in the best sense possible.

Now; songs to download, but I can’t speak much of the album:

1.)    Silver Lining-Rilo Kiley

2.)    Teen Angst-M83

3.)    Young blood-The Naked and Famous

4.)    Get Some- Lykke Li

5.)    Big Jet Plane- Angus and Julia Stone 

There's more, I know there are but until I think of them, this is whatcha git. Until next time, I gotta peace, I have to pack for school and such and such...

T

Life, thus far.

So anyway, last night my parents went to visit some friends of the family. We're Vietnamese so our family-oriented functions are just excuses to gather around, eat a shat-ton of food, gossip, karaoke, and so on and so forth. Vietnamese people are loud, we sound angry but we're not, we're just loud...that's just how we talk. The volume is either loud or louder, you get the idea.
Kids are seen, not heard that's just how we operate. So we are at this house and the family is from a more northern region of Vietnam, so to us folks from Saigon, their accents are just hilarious. It's a bit difficult for us to take them seriously. The women are in the kitchen cooking up a storm, they're always busy, with what I haven't gotten a clue but they're always moving. Anywho, as you know, I start bitching to my mom. I send telepathic signals towards her, I'm pulling out the stops with the stink faces. By now, she's slightly annoyed with how obnoxious this family is. See the thing is that usually it's not a big deal, I usually like hanging around my parent's friends and their kids but in this case, there was a 2 year old toddler who constantly cried and an 8 year old boy that, and I know parents hate to hear that they produce ugly babies, was heinous. He was a little tubby and just that truffle-shuffles around and bothered the hell out of me. He was that character, Chunk, from The Goonies, you dig? There was just something unsettling about that child. Then there was a 15 year old girl, I can usually communicate and enjoy myself in conversation with 15 year-olds, however she had Aspergers. So in other words, she was actually physically unable to converse with me. Not.Cool. I am basically trapped. Oh and then, they blare this crazy Vietnamese dance music. That stuff can make your balls jump up into your body and never come down. The man that was singing this was also doing this jive thing with his hands and it was a whole new level of shameless. So to escape this deadpan party, I decided to be ill, but in all reality if I were to stay any longer I think I would have accrued some illnesses (to my soul).
So that was the second half of my weekend, the first half was my cousin's birthday. She had this huge bashy-bash at a rooftop club. It was pretty damn lavish. But anywho the kid is a lightweight and was out by midnight or so. She woke up and putted around the house in her zombie-stance carrying around her first hangover, great. But anyway, that's what you get for puking all over the club anywho. I did something similar to my birthday only I wasn't that hot of a mess. I kept my composure until I got home and then the stuff started to projectile out of my body like an exorcism. Shit happens when you become aware of how old you're getting.
I am now packing for my Chicago trip and I feel like I'm forgetting a lot of shit. You ever get that feeling? I am pretty sure I won't think of it until I get there. It's just going to work out that way.
I gotta go to bed but I figured I needed to bitch about a couple of things before I rest my brain.
Nighty-night.

Summah Summah Summah Time.

Oh summer; I have longed for you. I yearned for the sweet sensation of sweat on my brow and wasting away under the (dangerous/cancerous) rays of the sun. Without a care or fear of melanoma on my mind I went to you empty minded and actually a bit lackluster, little did I know YOU WERE GOING TO BLOW.
Wow summer, way to be the asshole black sheep of the family. Dear summer, you're a douchebag. Fo reals, I have some bones to pick with you...
First of all, I have been working like a single mom (minus the spawn-children) and my friends have all died off with fear of going broke. So in other words; everybody's friggin working and not a single soul is free to do anything. I also came back home to some burdens and unfinished business...huh unfinished business, I honestly didn't think I would accrue any until I died. But anyway, everything is going according to plan, I am blogging to 2 people (so guys, think of this as a public announcement email) and I am earning not as much as I planned oh and this town is a tomb. No really, where I am located now is a fabulous town to raise children...and cattle. So thanks summer for shitting on my dick, yet again. I would take Spring over you any day. Spring gives me variety and hope, so yeah. Suck it, summer. Fall will beatcho ass.

Sincerely,
     Vanny

Let me tell you a little something....

So here are some things I'd like you to know about moi....
1.) I hate long walks on the beach because they are long.walks.on.a.beach. and maybe it's because I have never found beaches to be romantic...
2.) I wish I had the balls/enough street cred/ balance/ coordination to skateboard.
3.) I'm 5 foot nothing...(I know, perspective, right?)
4.) I'm in love with fashion, gay men have a way with me...I yearn for Marc Jacobs. Valentino and Armani; I don't even want to go there...gay orange men are my weakness.
5.) I have a soft spot for Koreans, blame it on the soju and K-Pop.
6.) I'm a total hypochondriac...damn you, Web MD (shake fist).
7.) I think I have abnormally small feet.
8.) I hate ALL underwater creatures, blech. Especially sharks, sharks can S my Bs.
9.) Every now and then I go into odd moods where I can watch "Virgin Suicides" over and over again.
10.) My fantasy football team would be Marc Jacobs, Sophia Coppola (because they get along famously), The 14th Dalai Lama, Maxine Hong Kingston, Amy Tan, Maguerite Duras, Encyclopedia Brown, Harvey Milk, Ann Suu Kyi, Jonh Lennon, Bob Marley and Duchamp. But they wouldn't play football because in my fantasy, they wouldn't understand the game of football, actually they would detest it. We would sit on the sidelines and chat about the wonders of the world, laugh and night would fall then the ornamental lights would dance and all will be well...isn't my fantasy a nice place?
11.) My favorite band in the whole world is Phoenix.
12.) The best cookies I've ever had are from Becker Farms (the chocolate-chip truffles)
13.) My favorite meal is in Vietnam, a noodle restaurant owned by my mom's best friend.
14.) You've Got Mail is my beating the blues flick.
15.) Tea and coffee is my life, I'm pretty much sure I'm about 98% caffeine.
16.) I have a weakness for fine-point ink pens, I have to buy it. I must add that I have pretty damn good penmanship. Oh but fountain pens, I stop the world and melt with fountain pens.
17.) English sheep dogs are my favorite animals.ever. I squeal at the sight of them.
18.) The Carriage House Cafe in Ithaca is the cutest restaurant I've been to.
19.) I can't give up traveling, it's like a drug. It costs more than drugs...shit.
20.) I buy art supplies like it's nobody's business.
21.) I can listen to Jack Johnson and be in total content with the world..no matter how shitty my day was.
22.) My mother stresses me out like no one else can, but she can do the total opposite and it's almost like magic.
23.) I'm an only child (shut up)
24.) I'm ambidextrous.
25.) I wish I had musical talents.

My Hill.

So I don't know if I have shared this information with y'all but I am a student at this little quaint school in Ithaca, NY. It's a grand ol' place, this Ithaca. The townies are a bunch of Woodstock remnants and whatnots. So needless to say, it's pretty damn enjoyable. I've been so nostalgic about school, maybe because working sucks; climbing the corporate ladder isn't as fun as they make it seem. But you know how they say that in high school they always threaten you with the whole "real world" of college...yeah, not real at all...LIES, as a matter of fact. College is great; you live on a tight schedule and all the threats about time management are true-as-fuck. But it is in a nutshell, pretty good stuff. You meet some people that have their shit together and make you feel at ease, you meet people that think they have their shit together that make you feel uneasy. But all in all, good dirty fun. I will keep you more posted about my hill later in my life when I think of things to say, ya dig?

Here's what it looks like in the summer time....

MTV no longer associates with Music.

So, I just watched the reruns of the MTV Movie Awards...ummm, doesn't MTV stand for Music Television? Just a reminder to the writers...so it was a shit fest, it was totally rigged so that the Twi-birth defects-light actors can grab a few awards. I don't get it, I really don't. That Kristen Stewart character has no personality and Rob Pattinson has Turrets. The stage looks like nature on acid and the winners are a joke; I have no hope for society. Just thinking about it hurts my feelings. But the upside is that Jason Sudeikis, God bless him. Oh how I love his sugateets. If you have no idea who Jason Sudeikis is, for shames. He's on SNL, if you have no idea what SNL is, stop reading this blog. Seriously, you're on my shit-list. But anywho, his singing monologue thing was pretty grand and probably the best they've got. You've let me down MTV, first The Hills have thighs, then Jerzey $hore, now this....I can't do it anymore, you've let me down too much for me to go on....but I will say that Teen Mom is a great show to watch when you're on the treadmill, it gets me so angry and revved up, I can run for miles, actually I pick up my speed when the "moms" start to talk...it's nice, Teen Mom makes me run like I just hit a big-ass black man. So thanks MTV, for that and for everything that's wrong with society. You're second on my shit list.

The Dating Rituals of the Twentieth Century (and why i hate it)

Where to begin...
I have always had really bad experiences and from those  bad experiences I have found out the hard way that you can't just say..."what's the worst that can happen?"
My first date ever, I went to a Shakespeare in the park...romantic, no? We had lawn chairs, shared a blanket, had miscellaneous snacks, good conversation and great chemistry. He was smart, funny, talented so basically almost perfect, the date was great...I wish I also didn't have to share it with his parents. Yep, they were there, sitting next to us, basking in the warmth.....On a level of one to awkward, it was the Mark Zuckerberg and Robert Pattinson love child of all awkwardness.
So my second date, much later down the road mind you, I went on a date with a friend, gain, intelligent, thoughtful basically a saint of a man. During dinner he was an absolute snooze, it was like entertaining a sleepwalker and besides, I thought I was good at small talk, I'm appalled that he had proved me wrong, so that made him go further in my shit-list. Anywho, we went to a party and things got gritty, so to speak, not Billy Bob Thorton Gritty but more tastefully gritty, I'm a woman of high standards and questionable morals, (can't you tell?) So usually, your therapist would frown upon my actions....before you go Chelsea Handler on my ass, I hope you know that we didn't, well, you know. Flashes of overhead stills on the human anatomy from high school health classes kept on replaying in my mind...that's a total turnoff. So needless to say, I felt terrible for leading the poor bastard on like that and stopped my charade in it's tracks, we're friends now.
The third date was anything but a charm. So we went on one of those dinner and movie things, but did it backwards (innovative, really) so the movie I la-hov-ed, adored and am purchasing as soon as I get the chance. But, but, but, the man was well, here we go: not a looker, but as I have learned from Bette Midler; looks go. He is smart, and has his shit together so that's a big plus. But his mom had set us up...yeah, he's not one to leave the nest to act upon things I guess...but the poor woman's been asking me for about 2 years now, I can't turn women like that down (I'm a bit of a pushover). The conversation was good though, he did mumble and it got annoying after awhile, I have soo many pet peeves, the latter list would be shorter. Anywho, the movie segment of the date was fine, if only it ended there....we went to dinner (I paid for half...ew) and mid dinner he had announced that he.was.also.into.men. Ummm, well he said that and followed it with, "but I do like women" because I think my face had the "chopped liver" response. So needless to say, Vanny is never going on a date again. I'm just going to spend my dowry on Booze and drugs to drown my sorrows, too bad I'm allergic to booze and sorrows. You know, you can never say " what's the worst that can happen?" because in return, you date a semi-gay man. I think God woke up and said, "How can I piss Van off today? How many reasons can I give her to become an atheist?" Oh and I'm onto you, big man upstairs....I know what you're up to? Do you hand me these sinners to date because I don't go to church? Huh?! Is it?... Anyway, dating is the devil, I have come to find....you think it's all good and dandy until BAM! he's gay or lackluster or worse, a lifer. So before you give any of these guys your number, remember what happened to Vanny, I am here as a sacrificial lamb for womankind...you're welcome...This was sponsored by the population control bureau...I hope you're too scared to mate now.

Dear Yoga Pants,

Though I have enjoyed my time with you, I have come to the realization that you suck. You've helped me through denial of losing weight and you've made my butt look grand on various occasions (like that one time at the gym during those lunges, you know what I mean), I have a bone to pick with you...
Do you know why you only come in dark colors?! Because it's slimming, yeah, not helpful. Thanks but no thanks. And you come in a variety of cuts, like Capri and shorts and such and such. I know what you're up to, and just letting you know, I'm onto you. (two fingers pointing to my eyes then fiercely pointing back at you)
You're not that great anyway, you're like the pretentious cousin of sweatpants but you judge...oh how you judge.   It's not right, it's not...what kind of fabric stretches 20 different ways? Unreal. Listen, Mr. Fantastic-magic-cotton, you think you're stealth but I know what you're doing to women...to society! And again, I'm watching you, so you plan your moves and once you get out of child's pose and pounce, I'll be there like a Lilly in the heat.
Needless to say, it's on.

Love,
Vanny Pants.

Where the "magic" happens...and by "magic" I mean "nothing".

 So for the summer and being inspired by Stumbleupon.com (damn youuu!) I decided to fix it...I wanted to paint the room ivy green and decided it was too dark. Scrapping that idea, I took leftover paint from my aunt's house (she lives in Canada so bringing over gallons of industrial sized paints over the border was pretty fun, I guess you can say I'm the Pablo Escobar of paint, doing lines of paint is harsh on the nose...
 Anywho, the room is three different colors and according to my colorblind father, "it's tacky..." yeah, you try to think of a comeback for that. The predominate color is a cool lemon yellow, followed by a bigger wall that's supposed to be "rustic" looking as opposed to "I can't mix paint evenly" looking, ya dig? And finally a small purple wall as a "statement" wall. So that's that.

Those lanterns are made by your truly, you'd be surprised what paper mache and yarn will get you. 

BAM! Hand-painted leaves, how you like me now?! (oh and by hand-painted I mean Sharpie) I'm on a budget. I'm a college student, slack is what I should get...

My poop brown wall, it gives the room...umm...character.  And my hipsterish-ghetto bookcase (lackthereof)

It's a small space so I wanted it to look kinda quirky without being so cluttered...you think Better Homes and Gardens will approve of my attempt? I think so. Well, maybe not that dainty, more like Martha-Stewart-Prison-Break-phase...

That little fella is Gus, my bedside companion. Oh and that's the view of when I dream.

Ghetto lack thereof bookshelf

For those of you whom don't know what TOMS are, for shames! Look them up now. I mean it. 

My wall with the miscellaneous photos I framed to make it look important. You like? I don't care if you don't,                                      no really. I don't.

 
                                               The door that leads you to my humble abode.

The closet space, back of the entrance, part of the purple wall...all in one snapshot.
I hope you liked it, not really.

A season of 'Roo followed by 'Loo...

Last year I went to Bonnaroo, pretty crazy experience I had... marinating in mine and other's filths can lead to extreme bonding and moral repugnance. For those of you whom don't know what Bonnaroo is, shame on you...no really, for shames. The 'Roo is this huge music festival that is held in a vast farm that MTV  bought over not too long ago. During the off season of The 'Roo, this patch of land grows corn; America's corrupt crop. Bonnaroo had it's 10th anniversary this year. A decade of nonsense. The festivities are held on the first weekend of June, when the weather choices are "hot" and "hot as hell". Anywho, just an hour in some-odd direction away from Nash-Vegas is this prime hot spot for middle-aged Woodstock remnants to sway along to folk noises and for the younger generation of hipster music lovers to flock to.  Amongst this crowd (last year) was myself. My body intake of liquids was beaten by the latter, I think I had sweat my weight's worth of liquids....I know, I know...FOUL. The camping, my first camping experience was pretty knarly...sleeping in a 100-some degree temperature tent and the lack there of tempurpedic sensation of laying on tarp, not showering for 4 days and using 8 baby moist-wipes as a bath to feel remotely content with oneself is only the tip of the petri-dish of sacrifices one makes for music. Despite the living conditions, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The lineup was insane and the free-samples tents set up from the sponsors are pretty damn swell..after all cheap is good, free is better. I think I drank my weight's worth of the gritty-ever-so-delicious Odwalla, and also the Odwalla tent is air-conditioned so laying there, comatose, was a daily event. Anyway, the artists that performed last year were: Jay-Z (shit my pants-good), Kid Cudi, Phoenix (Thomas Mars is the best-est and if you disagree then you can shut your face, shame on you.), She+Him (Zooey Dechanel is the cutest thing on 2 feet), Ingrid Michealson (didn't know who the hell she was before the 'Roo, love her now...), Mumford and Sons, Bruno Mars, Stevie Wonder (The God of Gods...ugh that man's voice maketh my heart go pitter-patter), Kings of Leon (eh, it was okay), Deadmau5 (who the hell is "dead-mau-five?), Fanfarlo (underratedly great), Steve Martin (yeah, the actor man..he's even better on the banjo), Damian Marley and Nas (um need I say more?), Norah Jones ("Snore-ah Jones"), Regina Spektor (I love that soul-child), and soooo much more. What I hated about this was that the bands that I liked played at the same time..you see, they are sadists, the people that plan the schedules. Pure evil. So I caught glimpses of bands here and there and rushed off to the next stage. The stages are the next: demonic choice of names...The "What Stage", "Which Stage", "This Tent", "That Tent"..and so on...what the frack?! So that was nice and confusing once the peyote kicks in. Oh and for y'all whom haven't visited the Nash-Vegas, please do. It's probably my favorite North American city so far...it has everything. Great food, great people-watching and pretty damn good environment. Given I was in Brentwood, which is a bit more upscale (I stayed with my friends, the Bichells..a shout-out to you guys, oh and your home...absolutely beautiful...I want one just like it, no joke. Just letting you know, if it where to ever go back on the market it's mine. Fo Raelz.), but regardless, pretty banging time. 

The gate that led you into the stages, i.e: the Ellis Island to the Americas.

Anywho: This year, Lollapolooza. It's on. Tickets have been booked, schedules and plan of attack has been mapped. Headliners: COLD-effin-PLAY. Did you hear me?! COLDPLAY, Muse and Eminem...(not as excited for them..sorry guys.) But, but, but; Beirut (I've been waiting for about 3 years to see Beirut), The Naked and Famous, Bright Eyes, Explosions in the Sky, Lissie, Two Door Cinema Club, Ratatat, Kid Cudi, Deadmau5, Skrillex, Damian Marley & Nas, The Foo, Cold War Kids and a shit-ton more. It'll be the bee's knees. I might die of excitement, we'll find out. Andwho to lead up to this, I will be exploring Chicago and such for 2 days. I have already bought my hippie headband that looks as though my brain is being constricted (oh it is) so I am pumped and ready to partay. DOn't worry, for the kids at home, I willst reportez back to y'all. Just sit pretty and wait for that posty-post.

I'm on a boat mothaf*cker donchu eva forgit.

During my winter trip to Vietnam... so lemme elaborate, quickly on winter for those whom are blessed enough to not have winter past by in their chain of events.  Winter is the bastard child of snow, it's the bitchlover of precipitation. It sucks. If you've watched Elf and think that snow is the bee's knees, I want you to hit yourself with a shovel. Just remember that those winter wonderland scenes were filmed in studios...AT ROOM TEMPERATURE. Because for like 4 or so months, you're knee deep in this puddle of pure-unadulterated white shit...it doesn't stay white long though...it turns a loverly shade of dookie, (it's mud, snow and unmentionables muddled together) Shoveling that shade of love is the biggest pain in the ass, because you know deep down in your soul, it will be a common (DAILY.) event on your social calendar. Oh and those snow ball fight scenes that look oh so fun? They're not. Once you're out there for an hour or so, you'll start to lose feeling in your hands and feet...yeah, that's called NERVE DAMAGE. And then you can't feel your face...not like the sensation that you get from doing a little too much cocaine (trying to appeal to my crowd of prisoners) nor is it the lack-there-of sensation/emotion you get from botox (shout out to the Newport Beach stay-at-home-moms)...this is different, and it is nothing you should ever, ever pine for. It's nothing you want for your kids, for realz. Kids play dirty, they play to win nowadays in snowball fights, so packed inside those snowballs are chips of ice and when they hit you, you'll feel extra special because your bruise will take the form of that snowball, only it'll be purple and hurt all over and you will look extra-special. Ya dig? I hate winter. 

Snow can S my Bs.

Anyway...So whilst we were in Vietnam, we took a minor trippy-trip to Nha Trang and we went on this boat tour thingy, too bad I can't drink (allergic to the pimp juice) or else this would have been an even bigger blasty-blast. Welcome to my life. We board this rickety boat, mind you the trip was 8 US bucks a head and beyond makeshift. 

 The parting ways picture...pretty dramatic eh? That's because I contrasted the hell out of it.

 Sunny day, the "docks"..I guess.

 Makeshift drums...Yamaha exclusive.

 What our boat looked like...out-of-body-shot

 eh?...eh?....

 They had this odd floating device so you can see the bottom to check out corals and such...

the "wet bar"...this whole trip was McGuivered.

 One of the guides dressed up as this foxy piece of meat....

 The cruise band...they were singing Wonderwall (with thick Vietnamese accents and mucho feedback), I wish I can make stuff like that up, I just can't...

In the most ghetto aquarium...those are legs of a mer-man...the dude was cleaning the tank whilst visitation hours. VILE.

Anywho, I had fun. There were a shat-ton of Europeans, most of the nations were well represented as well as a lonely Canadian man...I met a fellow Ithacan though, small world...even smaller boat.

...oh and I'm Yellow

As you would have guessed (due to the name and your natural human-instinct amount of racial profiling) I am colored or of a different culture...I'm an odd shade of Vietnamese (part, small part, Sri Lankan) Yellow.

On a recent (not really) trip to Vietnam, I had a little camera fun...
I have a Nikon D5000, Niko, he's my little gem...I was enjoying his company whilst I visited my crazy heard of family members. It was nice, the trip, we took excursions up north towards Hue and Nha Trang then towards the end we went to Thailand...more family there. Our family is pretty damn vast, I mean we do breed like bunnies that just got out of prison.


So here's a little eye candy...

It's a hipster shot of Chicago O'Hare International Airport...in other words, pain in my ass...
My only memories of this place is laced with wretched layovers until they miraculously get their grease-monkeys to fix whateverthehell they needed to fix and double-digit-hour layovers. So yeah, I have a bone to pick with y'all. Put they did win me over with this pretty cool strip of purgatory land before we reached our gate...Nice, eh?

These little birdies came into my life and entertained me during my layover in Chi-town.

Hong Kong is so...well, Hong Kong. This place is like a Sony masterpiece on acid and this is only the airport. It kind of looks like the innards of Optimus Prime, no?

 The above is my neighborhood, it's pretty simple living I guess, or so it seems. The streets of Vietnam is littered with madness, morning markets host creatures of habit and the city square of Saigon is a center stage for the best people-watching...I wouldn't have it any other way.

 We belong to this temple, my family and I, all of the monks here are female. Hospitality radiates from this place.

 A purple lotus...is this a lotus? Okay, purple-lotus-relative.

Part of the temple yet again.

I had arrived a couple of days before New Years, but since I'm a snooze and not very party-girl-esque I had pooped out from jet lag at 10 or so. Like I said, I'm a snooze.

umm... Greetings?

So anywho, I am Van and this is my blog.
I will tell you more about myself as this blog unravels itself and so on and so forth...
A couple of minutes ago I had deactivated my Facebook account, so I am here with the rest of the Facebook-rejects. It's a refreshing way to live life, no? Not at all actually, they try to trick you to stay but I grew a set and said nope. If you haven't done it, try it...go ahead, just go to ACCOUNT SETTINGS and DEACTIVATE...go forth my son, you are a man now. But I will warn you that they shun you, Survivor-esque...oh they do...they pretend like you never existed, yep. So feeling a little lonely, I have come to the conclusion that I need to send these odd talkswithmyself to the void, meaning you.
Technically I am a refugee...I drifted off the island of Facebook, signed prenuptials with Justin Timberlake and Mark Zuckerberg, let them keep the furniture and kids...and now I'm here. I have to say it's quite nice here...very personal. But maybe it's because I'm having talkswithmyself...
So a warm welcome to you and me.
Until then...